Happy birthday.

Hey it's your birthday! Happy birthday! I really pray that you'll have a wonderful and joyous day ahead with your family and friends. I'm sorry for hurting you. You're officially 17, and I think it's time for me to make my final move. Away from you. Thank you for teaching me how to love. Please don't hate me because it tears me apart. I'm better off being treated as a stranger. All I knew for the past few months was you, and all you knew was to eventually walk away from me. Nonetheless, thank you for the amazing memories you have given me. All the best in your future endeavours. Be happy with your newer and more cherished friends. I'll pray they give you everything I didn't. I pray for your happiness everyday. Even though you've left, please don't remove me completely from your mind and I hope I've given you some wonderful memories, even though they may be very trivial. Happy birthday once again, love. This heart will always yearn for you. I love you.

love

Today I learned the true meaning of love. You know you love him when you're okay with him ignoring you even though you've given your best. Its my fault and I will not blame it on him. I know I don't deserve him because he's such a wonderful soul who actually withstood my temper and and sensitivity. He tried his best, but things didn't work out. I told myself to change, but I never did. He told himself to stay, but he changed. What's the point of regretting it now? He's gone, away from me and he's off to find better individuals who are actually worth his attention. I wouldn't lie and say it doesn't hurt, because it does. It hurts when you know he's leaving you for real and off to making friends with your own friends. Sometimes I wished he would stand me for a little longer, but everyone's got their limits and I've reached his. He was way too good for me. So very caring and so very thoughtful even though he himself was a very fragile one. It will take me a hella long time to really get over him but I will try. Nonetheless, I will still love him in every other way possible behind his back. Would do so much just for his happiness and I'm praying he's happy. I genuinely hope you have a really good day ahead, and have lotsa fun and laughter with them. I'm officially out of your life now and it sucks but I gotta accept reality. I love you, goodbye.

Why

It's a cold reality. I will never be good enough for anybody. Friends after friends leave me. The strange thing is, I always considered those who left me as my close(st) friends. Do they leave me because they're bored of me? Or is it my personality that got to them? I will never know. Well I guess it's part of life and I just gotta accept it. 13, met two girls and became the best seat buddies in class (or so we thought). In just 9 months or so they left. Misunderstandings never fail to win. 14, met one of my possibly life long friend. I thought life was gonna be alright for the next few years with her around. I was wrong. She left me a year later to transfer school. 15, finally got close to a classmate of 3 years and she was just someone who could accept me for who I am. Then it happened again. Left me about a year later to migrate to Canada. 16, wow finally thought I may have some real good friends. We laughed, we talked, we did everything together. Yup, you guessed it. A year later she left and found new friends. It's hard to accept the fact that I don't have friends who stay. It traumatises me to make new friends and call anyone my best friend. Life is harsh and it's only gonna get harder. Note to self, never give up. Allah has his plans for you.